How can I not love you

Monday, July 06, 2009 Edit This 2 Comments »
You know what’s sad about love?
It’s when you happen to know there’s just no hope for you being together, yet you still pray to make it work
It’s when your mind says let go but your heart says hold on
And most of all, it’s when no matter how hard you try to forget him you just can’t
Because of the fact that you still love him and you just don’t know why

Try loving someone you’ve loved before and you’ll realize that it will either lead to the same thing that happened before or something better
Not hard isn’t it?
But why not try loving someone who doesn’t love you back
It’s either you see yourself giving up, or dying daily.

If you love and get hurt, love more
If you love more and get hurt more, love even more
If you love even more and get hurt even more
Love some more until it hurts no more

The gauge of how much you truly treasure something or someone is not how happy you are with them
But how sad you are when you lose them
One grows distant from another not because indifference, but because of fear
There’s the fear that’s the hurt gets greater as one gets closer

Recognition of the tendency to fall deeply, and consequently drown in a quicksand of stupid irrationalities
Sometimes, what drives one away is not the absence of emotion, but the overwhelming presence of it

Falling in love is never a decision, always by chance
Staying in love is never a chance, always by choice
and falling out of love is never a choice, always a decision

Attraction comes to us by chance, but true love that lasts is truly a choice

Listen: Fate brings you together, but it still up to you to make it happen
We may meet someone by chance, but loving and staying with that someone is still a choice

Just because my eyes don’t have tears,
It doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t cry
Just because you always see me strong
It doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong

Sometimes I choose to pretend I’m happy
So I don’t have to explain to people who would never even understand
Smiling is easier than explaining to all why I am sad
It’s never the tears that measure the pain
Sometimes, it’s the smile we fake
A person who truly loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes,
While everyone still believes in the smile on your face

The person you love most has the best capacity to make you the happiest person in the world and may give you the worst heartache you can never imagine
Time can heal wounds, but it can never get back what once we had and lost
Time can’t tell when or how we would move on after all was said and done
Because God gave us time but we never valued this gift he had given us
So learn to treasure the ones you choose to love now
Because when they go, there won’t be time to have them back

In life, I have done everyway of fighting, heard every painful truth, been in every heartbreaking scene, and felt every dreadful feeling
I thought going through it all will then make me realize that I have to stop the fighting at least to save a little for myself
But you know what’s funny?
It’s when I seem so tired of it all
But still I can’t just quit no matter how hard it is
And I have to continue hoping that one day
I’ll be able to find someone who could love me not just “right” but “real”

“Love is like giving someone a gun
having them point it at your heart
and trusting them to never pull the trigger”

I don’t know why we all hang on to something we’re better off letting go
It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t even really have
Some of us say we’d rather have that something than absolutely nothing
But the truth is “to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.”

I want to know someone who could ease the pain that I have
Who could hold me tight, the one who will never let me go,
till every drop of tears that I have had fallen, till every strength that I have has already passed out, then I can no longer move
As he lay me down in my bed, sings me a lullaby till I fall asleep and whisper beside me, “I will never leave you, angel of mine.”

Time may take us away
Space may keep us apart
Rumors and hurts may break us down
Yet no matter where life leads us,

”I’ll always be here and I’ll never stop caring.”

Everybody means so much, and you're special :)

Monday, July 06, 2009 Edit This 0 Comments »

The Don Boscoers and Me :)

The MIBT Jakarta-ers and Me :)

The Festival Indonesia crews and Me :)

My besties in Melbourne and Me :)

There are places i'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends i still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life i've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When i think of love as something new
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them

In my life i love you more

Jeje and Me :)

I never liked him anyway :((

Monday, July 06, 2009 Edit This 0 Comments »
Hinder – Without You

I just wanna be alone tonight
I just wanna take a little breather
Cause lately all we do is fight
And every time it cuts me deeper

Cause something’s changed
You’ve been acting so strange
And its taking its toll on me
Its safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seeing myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought i'd say
I’m fine
Without you

Agnar, my used-to-be bestfriend, and Me :(

I miss him so much :((

Monday, July 06, 2009 Edit This 0 Comments »
Can you tell me, How can one miss what she’s never had
How could I reminisce when there is not past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Can someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate love that’s too late and
How could I really mean the words I’m about to say

I miss the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we used to kiss
At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happen to us, we were almost there
Who ever said it’s impossible to miss
What you never had, never almost had you

I can not believe I let you go
Or what I should say is, I should have grabbed you up and never let you go
I should have went out with you
I should have made you my boo, boy
Yeah, that is one time I should have broke the rules

should have went on the date, should have found a way to escape
Should have turned almost into if it happen, now it’s too late

How could I celebrate a love that wasn’t real
And if it didn’t happen, why does my heart feel

(some times I want to hug you, sometimes I want to love you)
You seem to be the perfect one for me
(some times I want to touch you, but to night I want to love you)
You, you’re all I ever wanted
You’re my everything, Yes it’s true
Boy it’s hard to be close to you
My love, boy it may sound crazy
But I’m in love with you

Tamia - ALMOST

Reno and Me :))

Never regret what had happened

Monday, July 06, 2009 Edit This 0 Comments »

Sparks from the fire rise up to the sky
Higher and higher, oh I want to fly
Out of the story this time I'll be free
Wake up for a moment from this dream of me

Just a legend, cold words on a page
Lift up my eyes and I'm soaring away
On silver wings spread out to the sun
I'm leaving this city for the skies above

O'er the ruins and ancient light
Never lost, never failing
Follow me on my path to the heights
Before the shadows fade into night

Running back, but I'm out of time
I could tell everything
Hear the words that fill my mind
How can I say "he was mine"?

The black mages - The skies above

Ocean Travel

Monday, July 06, 2009 Edit This 0 Comments »

Some day, a long time from now
These rays of light
Remember the trip
I took to be next to you

At a seashore far away
At the end of the sky somewhere
Keep the precious memories
Of you and me
A blinding vision of azure
You’re my sea
When I gave you my hand
Your dreams broke into white pieces

I’m planning on taking a long trip
A voyage deep into the sea
The smooth, silvery ripples
Take my body to you
A blinding vision of azure
You’re my sea
When I gave you my hand a white
Burst of your smile
You know, too, that I
Love you very much
Wrap me in your softness

My photography collection

Monday, July 06, 2009 Edit This 2 Comments »
if you be my boat
I'll be your sea
a depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
I live to make you free

but you can set sail to the west if you want to
and past the horizon till I can't even see you
far from here where the beaches are wide
just leave me your wake to remember you by

I don't really now what this piece of rock tells us but I guess the point is: SINGLE ROCKS!! :)) hahahahahha anyway, this was taken inside the Shrine of Remembrance..

This is me.. LOL Yeh I was posing like a burglar, then my lil sis took the shot :)) I love iittt.. so cuuteee love love xDD

I really like this one. I took it earlier this year.. It is my favorite shoes which now smells not so good and doesn't look so good either.. hahaha anyway i like this because the lighting is perfect and I drew my name on the sand.. aww how prettyy :P


I took this one with my camera phone. Looks like I did montaging with this pic but no, I didn't. It looks pretty good except the stairs in the middle seems unreal. Do you see it?

This one also my favorite. Except Melbourne's beaches, I also love Shrine of remembrance.. So silent.. so widee.. so calm.. so greenn.. so ethnic.. wooww lots of feelings there, huh? LOL.. Looks like Parthenon in Greece, yeh?! That's why I like it,, makes me feel like I'm not in Melbourne anymore everytime I step into this site hehehe :))


This one is my.. ermm.. used-to-be bestfriend.. long story LOL :P anyway, I really loveee the sunsett behind him!! GOD I LOVE IT!! I tagged him on Facebook and then he made this profile pic right away.. hihihihi.. This was taken last summer when the weather is sunny side up!! and 38degree celcius.. melt melt melt T_T huhuhuhu.. like I said, I loveeee beachesss :))

Happy Sunday everyonee :))

Sunday, July 05, 2009 Edit This 6 Comments »
$40 full outfit

Happyy sundaayy :)) even though I'm not christian, I'm still allowed to say it, right?? This morning was sooo cooldd.. but I still managed to woke up at 8am.. *snoozed the alarm a bit to 8.30am* LOL and then I went to Camberwell market. It's a vintage market located nearmy house, just 3 tram stops away coz I live in Tooronga. When I got there, it was raiiinniingg for like 5minutess.. but then it stopped. I searched all over the stalls looking for a good bargain and a real deal.. That's what you gotta do if you want to go home with a garbage bag full of pretty junks cost less than $50..

Vintage Sweater $5


black suede sling bag $10


Tony Bianco Electric Blue flats $15


Electric Blue mini skirt $5

So then yeh I went back home happily xDD because luckily for me.. I got full outfit for $40!! and they're so coooolll...

Pretty cool Saturday nite.. and I'm not talking about the weather..

Saturday, July 04, 2009 Edit This 0 Comments »
I did few fun things today.. watching Ice Age 3 3D the second time with my lil sis *the 1st time was with my friends*, went to Border's bookshop in Camberwell and bought couple of magazines, went to the city to hang around a bit with my bestfriends, and now browsing blogs through the internet.. thank GOD for creating smart people who created the internet.. really makes my life, especially, kind-of-boring saturday night, a lot funner and easier..


Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinasours 3D was awesomee!! Soo hilariously funnyyy.. and the 3D animation was soooooooo evrythinnggg!! I wish I can work for Disney :)) Amiinn.. someday..

These are awesome tights according to me. Mod, edgy, and incredibly FUN! Love the gold cage one. You might wanna check 'em on http://shiborilove.blogspot.com/ and http://www.blackmilkclothing.com/

It's a bracelet I found on an online store. Costs $18 including shipping. It's cute yeh but I don't know if it's worth it. Hmm..

Got the shoes yesterday.. awesome bargain only costs $10 from Rubi shoes Bourke st. Not in a very good quality though but it has an alright design :)) totally worth the price.

Fringe shirt Avec Girl, Sportsgirl jacket, Sportsgirl skirt, Nine West patent bag, and Rubi shoes fringe tan boots.



Left to right: Ilham, Niea Nadya, Amanda Citra

After the really cute Ice Age movie, I went to the city to meet up with my bestfriends, the ones I always update my good and bad news plus issues LOL, in Max Brenner chocolate cafe for a warm hot chocolate.. Yuumm.. :))

Quality time with my BFF

Wednesday, July 01, 2009 Posted In Edit This 4 Comments »







So today I went to Brunswick St, Fitzroy with my BFF, Ilham :)) we had a great fun really, hunting vintage clothes on vintage stores but ended up with discount stuff!! hihihi :)) we also had dinner at Bimbo's famous with its salmon pizza yumm!! :d plus a glass of mountain goat made my night so warm hehehehe.. love youu Ilhaaammm.. lets go there again next timee hihihi xDD

Coat vintage, blue blouse pasar senen, mini skirt Forever 21, zara tights, bracelet and ring sportsgirl, necklace ELKE for sportsgirl, lace gloves Forever New, Sequin ribbon Forever New, oxford shoes savers Frankston